1. [A]ny action in which a man ejaculates or otherwise deposits semen anywhere but in a woman’s vagina shall be interpreted and construed as an action against an unborn child.
    — 

    Oklahoma Democrat Constance Johnson Adds Every Sperm Is Sacred Amendment To Personhood Bill

    Oklahoma State Senator Constance Johnson added those words to State Senate Bill 1433, which will make all sperm cells sacred.

    Here’s a question for you guys who are into, um, self-love. Do you realize how many counts of murder you will be charged with after one session? Sure, Oklahoma is about to become the Serial Killer Capital of The World, but the bill’s original intent to "define human life as beginning at the moment of conception, before it’s even implanted in the womb" will already move Oklahoma to a new level of notoriety. State Senator Johnson simply wanted help Oklahoma reach its pro-life aspiration…

    Oklahoma Democrat Adds ‘Every Sperm Is Sacred’ Amendment To Personhood Bill

     

  2. My opinion about how we should handle Wall Street has never been a secret: we need a thorough criminal investigation of the systemic lending, securitization and trading practices of financial institutions and the correlation of these practices to the 2008 market crash.

    Until now, the Obama administration appeared unwilling to go after the Bankstas. This is why the administration’s appointment of New York Attorney General Eric Schneiderman – a vocal proponent for the kind of investigation I’m talking about – to lead the administration’s newly-formed mortgage crisis unit confuses me. Either the Administration is finally summoning the ghost of Ferdinand Pecora, whose picture I added above for good luck, or the administration finally got to Schneiderman. The latter would suck. Hard. Economist Simon Johnson appears hopeful in his Baseline Scenario post yesterday. We will see…

    song currently stuck in my head: “mystic brew”- ronnie foster